The Election

I may be eating nachos in my boxers right now, sitting on a couch and looking out at The Palms and a beautiful blonde who could literally call me “Daddy”, thinking why did I only sleep 8 minutes? And more importantly, what does “Sapphire… Voted Best in Las Vegas… Call me” really mean? Who voted and what was the criteria? Did the Russians play a role? Did Facebook sell some dirty advertising that may have swayed things- just to add a few bucks to their already billions of bucks? Wasn’t integrity also an issue at the beginning of that movie?

Do any businesses actually care about integrity? Do the consumers? Would the consumers slowly lose their shit if a company acted mutually beneficial/communal- from its inception until forever? How long would it take for consumers to be like, “OMG, WTF, why was I chill with bait and switch, relentless email spam, hidden fees, and every other standard (bad) business practice? Why am I OK with my government being a business?”


Why do otherwise smart people value money so much? Why do those who have more than they could ever need, still want more? Why do people bring their leftovers home after an amazing meal? Why do they not instead say, “That was an amazing meal, I am so lucky to have been able to enjoy it until I got full” and then ask for their leftovers to be bagged up with 2 plastic forks, plenty of napkins, and some wet wipes if possible? And then rather than driving straight home and finishing their leftovers (cuz taste buds are insatiable)- even though they are already full and will only become fat, tired and uncomfortable piles on the couch if they do, why don’t they drive (not far) until they find a homeless person? Why don’t they roll down their automatic windows and say, “Want some hot food?”

Do people not realize the homeless folk on the other side of the disappearing glass could easily be them (and vice versa)– if their equations of genetics x environment x variance were only of slightly different variables? Do people not realize that being communal is not for “bleeding hearts”/“do-gooders”/the “holier than thou”/the boring as fuck?

They must not understand that being communal is GTO. The goal of the game is to achieve inner peace/happiness (ldo) so that you may get the most fulfillment out of your brief time on this planet and help others do so as well- to do everything you can to benefit your species, other species’, the world in general…

Did they not have a sexy AF high school Biology teacher named Mrs. Robinson to explain this to them freshman year, while making standing up temporarily out of the question?

People (at least subconsciously) wish for inner peace/happiness their whole life. Why does hardly anyone ever actually chase after it- like a basketball rolling down a steep street off the left hand of their amazing, beautiful, angelic, promising Point Guard of a daughter?

Pro tip: It’s optimal to go after the ball as long as there are no cars coming.

Why do people believe money and SHIT will bring them inner peace/happiness? Have they not looked at the overwhelming data since the beginning of time? Honestly, I don’t get it. I may be eating nachos in my boxers after 8 minutes of sleep after God knows what for God knows how long thinking, “Fine, I’ll call you… But be ready, you little piece of white candy- cuz I have some questions for you…

Why are people so misguided and how much is a lap dance? Do you like my green eyes? They are my blonde hair. Just kidding, my heart is- do you like my heart? Why is sex such a big deal? I mean why don’t people just fuck when and where and with whomever they want (as long as the feeling is mutual OBVVVV). Why isn’t it legal for humans to get relaxed sexually by a professional in a clean and safe environment? How old is that ridiculousness- and who came up with it? Would crime not plummet- especially sexual misconduct and other heinous acts of violence/aggression? Would the world not get brighter, funnier, nicer, and more beautiful immediately? Would both Warren Moon and his assistant not be much happier today? Would they still be friends? Would they have been way more productive at work?

If sexual relaxation was legal in places of business would everyone at the poker table suddenly not be required to tell me how much bitcoin they have and what its current value is every 5 minutes? Seriously, pardon my frankness (I guess that’s something to ask for forgiveness for), but why don’t people come more and collect less? Why don’t they collect more smiles, more friends/acquaintances- less SHIT? Am I crazy or are they? How much is the VIP room?

You are beautiful, but I can’t afford that and I don’t feel I’m any more important than anyone else. Do you feel me?

Congratulations on the election though…”


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2 thoughts on “The Election

  1. Best post


    1. Thanks Dawg, hit me up when you come to Vegas…


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