The Fountain of Youth

Sometimes you just know you are gonna lose– and then you do. Any real gambler can attest to that (even the one who grasps variance). But when sometimes becomes every time- and it used to be never forever, that isn’t the easiest thing in the world to deal with…

It’s significantly tougher than reading a Holiday Card sent in the first week of December by a well to do couple you know, who lived in Spain this year, and Joshua Tree, and Switzerland I think it was, and maybe somewhere else. And they are in love as ever, and their kids are the greatest kids in the world (I could handle this part actually- we all think our kids are the greatest, and we should) and “2017. Was. Awesome.”

You have hung out with the couple enough/you are an experienced enough Holiday Card soul reader to know that no way they are still fucking- which is fine/it happens to many couples (that hang on for reasons beyond love), but it also makes their Holiday Card just a huge and obvious bluff (even if the kids are amazing, which they obviously are- cuz they are kids)…

Do people who come up on their own accord (or in a Honda Accord) ever brag about themselves in print- 3 weeks before Christmas? Do they ever drift that far from reality/what’s important in life/where most people live to actually think it’s chill to pollute the mail- so early? Are any real people not humble and of perspective and understanding most of the time/certainly in the big pots like Holiday Card Season?

And the beauty of it is, you wouldn’t have ever even learned about the 2017 goat fam who calls the whole world their home/bitch had you not been tilting in the kitchen waiting for your pho to heat up after ANOTHER cold-deck slow-roll massacre…

I mean it wasn’t that horrible of a session, aside from a) most of the conversation (it was chill talking to the 75-year-old man who looks 55 though- because he always ate a lot of pussy, that’s what he told you, after you asked- what is the secret to looking so young, after you made him smile more than he probably has in 5 years at the poker table with your silliness/camaraderie/TALKING- so much that he wouldn’t even play hands against you because he didn’t want to beat you, and so what if he was the spot, you like him/you don’t really care about all that anymore/it all seems too small and predatory these days- no matter how broke you are), b) pretty much all the cards you were dealt, and c) that the 3 times you made good hands you got coolered by portable space heaters (ironically enough, that’s what portable space heaters do- they cooler you)…

At least one of the portable space heaters (you don’t know the other 2- they ain’t been around long enough) is cool (irony again) and has been through it…

But had you not picked on the one portable space heater who gives zero to the game (for those exact reasons), as you do (with your play), and had he not finally taken a stand, and had he not flopped a set in the squeeze pot (obv?), only for you to turn God’s Green Earth (only for him to make the Santa Maria on the river), then you would have just glanced at the pic of the happy family on the deserted beach in Spain or whatever at some point and thought, “That looks nice…”

Good night, sorry for the venting- I’m working on it though, and I have been better lately.




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Categories Poker Life

3 thoughts on “The Fountain of Youth

  1. Hang in there man


  2. I feel you on the holiday card rant.

    I’ve been dabbling on facebook and instagram (mostly for marketing a new early education site), and man, it’s been eye-opening to see what gets posted in social media land.

    If I didn’t know any better, I’d think everyone was on a Jamaican cruise or eating ice cream at Disney World with the fam every week.

    Gotta tread lightly in those waters…it seems really seductive, insidious, and addictive.

    Keep coaching those hoops girls up. That’s real.


    1. Yup. Everyone is constantly trying to paint the best picture of themselves. I think that’s human nature but so many people overdue it


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