Pain Factory

Work long enough at the Pain Factory and you just start going through the motions like a bad employee who needs a new task.

You’ve been given almost every task though and nothing is a challenge anymore. When the boss said, “OK, today we are going to take away your last friend,” you just yawned. When he got pissed at your lackadaisical approach to that particular menial task, he said, “Fine, I’ll take away the one you love. The best you have ever met. The one that has been the light.”

You fell asleep.


The Pain Factory is a joke. Not sure why there is such high turnover. I show up bright and early every morning with a hard hat and a can do err can’t hurt me anymore attitude. My lunch pail has 2 bottles of Bud Light in it and nothing else in the world.

I mean I blame management. Didn’t they know when they hired me that I was made of rubber? Great for attendance but bad for results. I mean really the ONLY thing that could get my attention at this point is if a picture of one of my 2 children popped up on the Power Point presentation during a staff meeting.

But then I would literally just make the presenter stop breathing… Seriously, keep pulling the cards that don’t matter. Pull one of the Jokers though and I will choke you out. I won’t be happy or sad or anything else when I do it. I’ll just squeeze until PF has to hire a new manager who will be smart enough to just give me all the ordinary tasks that create all the turnover but keep him alive and just make me say, “meh”.

As I have for 7,984,729,772,446 days in a row now…

Happy Holidays!


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