Molly Bloom

I’m sorry to hear about the traumatic childhood. I’ve thought about this shit long enough to know an aggro father pushing a privileged girl too far can be just as bad as a father not being there (or worse). It’s all pretty much the same when we are kids, and for the most part when we are adults…

Probability aside, I can find empathy for all those who didn’t hit the parental lottery, cuz it takes us decades to unravel all the defense mechanisms/repressed memories (if we are so inclined). If only we were born one generation later…

The skiing accident was Harlan’s QQ getting felted by AK all in for a zillion (after getting bluffed and accidentally shown by the WOAT player) on Q77. I’m not saying that twig had .71% (x the percentage of everything that happened before the money went in), just that it was a huge negative bink at a turning point. It was variance flexing its muscles and spinning a sinkhole around you/Harlan- instead of a tornado (see the bottom of the gray to learn more). I can find empathy for that as well…

*No way you would have been happy/found inner peace any time soon had you binked a gold medal instead of a ride in an ambulance, but you prob would have been able to fake it for a LONG time/you likely never would have found yourself all the way in The Abyss, as you did in New York a few years later…

Run bad leads to play bad…

You saw Harlan go from shark to whale in one night. I saw you go from poor to rich in one night. What an incredible bink to add 3k to your 450/week salary PAing for that douchebag- why were you doing that btw (that and many other things in the movie didn’t make sense to me at all)?

If your PA job really was 24/7 as you stated, didn’t the quality of it improve when one night a week you got to chill (and meet celebrities) while your boss dusted off all the money he had access to? More importantly, didn’t the 7x raise in compensation seem “too good to be true”? It should have.

When your boss came to his senses a little and wanted to lower your raise from 7x to 6x, you should have simply made a subtle sad face, patted him on the back and said, “I know you have been getting really unlucky, keep my base pay for as long as it takes to win all these idiots’ money. I got your back!”

Instead you played bad and went from rich to poor again in the span of one hand foolish argument…

You played the next hand OK and ran hot that none of the players showed any loyalty to your (former) boss. Good read that people (not just “hoes”) aren’t loyal…

But then you took on Spider Man…

You don’t fuck with superheroes. Not unless you are a superhero yourself. A smart, sassy girl (there are plenty) making a lucrative living hosting a poker game<– not a superhero. Rather, a GROSSLY overpaid kid who should be extremely worried about “If it’s too good to be true…” and more importantly, “Oh fuck, I’m in the presence of a superhero, and someone has poisoned him and made him the bad guy!”

You should have considered both your situation and your opponent better. You should have been open to capping your tips when Spiderman suggested it. Being the second biggest winner in the game WAS a gross overpay (you have to be smart enough to know that). He was right- and seemingly a world class spoiled brat. Oh well, you live and you learn (kind of)…

You learned how to make lucrative money hosting a poker game while not being at the mercy of a superhero. You actually became a superhero. Powerful and soulless…

Gotham was yours (kind of)…

(to be continued, lot of real life shit to do rn though)

Did you think being a superhero was going to be easy? In the big city? Did your dad not let you watch movies when you were a kid? Of course he didn’t. But didn’t he let you read books? WTF did you do while you were recovering from the first time your back exploded? Why didn’t you catch up on all the shit he didn’t let you do after you moved out- if not in a hospital bed for a month at age 13 or whatever? That’s how it works usually (do all the shit they didn’t let you do immediately)…

Anyways, superheroes are always up against it. When I was a kid they had villains for days, sometimes the misinformed public. Today the public is still misinformed AF, and superheroes have to square off against other superheroes all the time. And there are still plenty of villains (as you now know)…

Too good to be true is just… false. Always.

Come on Molly Bloom. Tell us the truth. Was it really naiveté- the whole way through? Or was there a bunch of shit you didn’t tell us? I’m thinking it was a some of the former and a lot of the latter.

I only write you this letter because I think you can get through this. Just drop the greed, stop rationalizing, add a bunch of humility, and think a lot harder and further out. You will be good…

Once you learn what good is.


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Categories Movie Reviews

11 thoughts on “Molly Bloom

  1. enjoyed the movie (and this post).

    That tilt performance was painfully good (the actor is also great in HBO’s “The Night Of” if you haven’t seen and need a good show rec)

    *One of these days you’ll have to share some of the best bluffs you’ve ever witnessed, been shown…or pulled off at the tables.


    1. I thought the movie was entertaining but had a lot of holes in it. Maybe I have simply been in poker too long- or just really need to get out of this rut I’ve been in for a year+, but I found Molly highly unlikeable, and her lawyer’s taking to her extremely cheesy (come on man, you were in The Wire ffs). She lacked humility- that’s not something I can get past.

      I didn’t even care that the poker scenes were hilarious (they could have been way better with like one meeting with Matt Salsberg or anyone else in both industries, but w/e). On second thought, I actually live for less than minraises and other shit that doesn’t make sense. I always snap call less than minraises irl (even if I have a monster) and hope the dealer just says “fml” and lets it slide. Sometimes they do, and for some weird reason that really makes me happy.


    2. The best bluff I ever witnessed was when I was on a bender at the Aria running stone death into the nuts every hand in this short-handed 10-20-40 (iirc). This kid who was binking his brains out vs me was acting smug AF and was up like 20k. I knew he would never believe me the rest of the way, but also do everything in his power to not put his stack at risk. I could tell this was a career session for him (run hot against me and that’s what you get), hence the nervous energy/smugness…

      Eventually I called his 3b in position a trillion deep with J8o. It came AJJ and he check/called my overbet. The turn was a blank and he check/called my overbet. The river was an 8 and he checked again. I overbet again (5k?) and he check raised (a real sizing, not a Molly bloom less than minraise). I folded pretty quickly and just got ready for the next hand/battle/run into a mf brick wall.

      Kid asks me, “What did you have?”

      Me- “Nice hand man, pocket aces, way to go…”

      Him- “I had Ace King”

      Me- “Ha”

      The kid left pretty quickly after that and my friend who was sitting next to him told me “he had Ace King man”. I said no way, and he sadly swore that he did. My life was ruined.

      Three years later I was drinking with the smug binker (this is how it goes, I meet pros, we bang heads, we are friends a few years later) and he revealed that he did in fact have AA- not Ace King. I wanted to kill my friend! But all I could really do was tip my cap to his amazing bluff. The real/only big bluff that took place that day (aside from every hand I played where I didn’t think I had the best hand probably). A 3-year long bluff that had me tilting inside the entire time.

      Thanks Chuck


  2. Ruthless, Chuck.

    And I imagine you’ve left a few players with their heads spinning too.


  3. Great post. I’ve had a hard time reconciling what is true between real life, her book, and the movie. As you alluded to, I think a lot is still being hidden. I did enjoy the movie on the whole but agree her character lacks humility. I think they kind of picked the wrong things to focus on as well. Things that tilt me:

    Her Dad doesn’t seem overly terrible in the book
    Drugs weren’t mentioned in the book
    “Player X?” Can’t you just give him a fake name like the others?

    Maybe they were held up a bit by legal issues of what they could and couldn’t use in the book/movie but American Gangster is a great movie and only like 5% of it is true. Just take the damn premise and run with it


    1. I didn’t read the book, but I did see somewhere that when Tobey Maguire bluffed the guy off a good hand (aka “the nuts” in the movie lol) by telling him he swore on his his mother’s life he had it, he merely showed the bluff after the guy folded. Saying “Fuck you” after the guy folded (in the movie) is def running with it. I agree they should have just ran with the whole thing- if not be super disciplined and tell the WHOLE story.

      Where was the sex?

      Also, I agree “Player X” is a super passive aggressive way of outing Spiderman.


  4. Also I found this interview completely inauthentic. She hesitates before every answer which to me seemed like she was trying to make sure she didn’t mess up and say something that was true in real life but not in the book or the movie.


    1. Must’ve been A LOT of stuff they had to work around for legal reasons.

      Maybe I’m just so used to bad poker movies (even small poker scenes are awkwardly butchered), but I enjoyed Molly for entertainment value.

      So easy to critique these things, but it must be so tough to make a good movie/show start to finish.

      *Was the wsop champ they referenced based on Jamie Gold? (Who’s super fun to play with in real life)


      1. Yeah they unnecessarily outed him. He’s the only one to win 12 mill. Side note: who got 38th that year?

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Good read… Having said that, maybe I’m the only one in the world who didn’t like Jessica Chastain? Real Molly (though I agree very calculated in all her responses), didn’t give me the douche chills like film Molly did.

      Ellen looks the same as when I was mad at her for stealing Anne Heche 20 years ago wtf.


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