Issues

Is it weird that the two sentences that have stuck with me the most/have straight rattled around in my brain for decades have come from my dad and my brother?

No?

Does it change anything if I tell you that I have never had a relationship with either- we only got drunk and talked sports or whatever on the occasional holiday?

Doesn’t matter.

My dad’s sentence (you gotta read my Bio to know it) helped me achieve some amazing understanding many years later.

My brother’s sentence (you gotta read one more sentence to know it) also helped me achieve some amazing understanding- tonight.

Everyone has issues…

He said ^^^ when I was like what the fuck that singer from Wilco is a goddam genius. He was like, yeah, he’s got issues though. I mean… Everyone has issues…

I was like yeah I guess, I don’t know, his music feels like heroin to me.

 

And then tonight I was sadly about to finish all the Netflix seasons of Shameless. I’ve always been weird about making lists about dumb shit. Rankings. I was going to rank the characters- and I was going to put ‘Lip way at the bottom because his entitlement has been driving me crazy lately. I was trying to decide if Carl was at the top- or if the boss at Cup World should wear the crown.

Then I realized they are all equal. I don’t really like any one of them more than anyone else. They all have issues…

(fucking amazing job by the writer/director obv)

And then I thought about all the people in my own life. My best friend growing up? Every second of every day he battles addiction. Me? I’ve always known I was fucked up (at this point I think I’m good though as long as I don’t go on any drug benders). Maybe it was genetics, maybe it’s PTSD from shitty early years, maybe it’s from all the concussions. Doesn’t matter, I know when to just breathe and chill…

If I think of every person I have ever known, only one comes to mind that maybe doesn’t have issues. My little sister. Just blessed for days/like no one else I’ve ever known. Aside from her…

Everyone has issues…

But why?

More importantly- why is everyone so worried about it? Why do they pretend like they are completely empty case files all the time, when we can all see at least a couple white pages in there almost every time we see them?

Do they think they are alone? Do they think others don’t see the white?

Back to why…

Why does everyone (aside from my sister- who I prob just don’t know well enough) have issues?

I think it’s partly the fucked up system that breeds loneliness from the top down.

More so I think it’s just become part of the human experience. Evolution brought it. Issues leads to introspection. Maybe human beings need introspection. Maybe it’s the only thing saving that will save us from ourselves.

  1. Svetlana

 

Want to get these posts delivered to you the moment they are published?

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 49 other followers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close