Perfect is a joke. It’s why girls starve themselves and gag themselves. It’s why guys take steroids- and starve themselves and gag themselves.

Perfect is a relationship ender. It’s why the one that got away- got away. More importantly, it’s really the only thing that could ever get in the way of you and the current one- the one…

Let her have some mood swings. Let him have a little belly. Let her worry about you a little- even though you really don’t want her to. Let him leave a little water mess when he rinses a dish. Let her smoke a couple cigarettes a day- if she really wants to.

Perfect is why we only see a tiny fraction of all the art that is created.

Art is pretty important…

Perfect is why you won’t go out tonight. It’s why you never go out. It’s why you waste all your time and money on beauty products.

Perfect is why kids hate their parents. It’s why parents hate their kids.

(just kidding, it’s impossible to hate your kids, but parents could smile a lot more and let their kids be a little more, well, imperfect…)

DGAF Jr, when he is ace of the Dodgers in 20 years–which he is going to be, no question (I’m his fucking Tee Ball coach, I know)–he is going to retire the first 26 Astros in game 7 of the World Series, and then he is going to intentionally walk Jose Altuve Jr-

Just to teach the world a lesson.

He’s going to look around the infield and tell his teammates, “You shouldn’t have given me the silent treatment in the dugout, fuckers! I’m a social dude and I don’t stress out about dumb shit like being perfect.”

And then he’s going to fan George Springer Jr on three pitches, smile his million dollar smile, and make a huge dog pile with all his teammates on the mound…



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