I’ve been in this game for as long as I remember. I’ve played more hours than anyone (give or take). I’ve run really hot. I’ve run really cold. I’ve seen it all…

I think a few of you are very good. *100% of this pool has run top 10% lifetime, for what that’s worth…

I think some of you are pretty good. *I would bet against seeing any of this pool 5 years from now…

I think most of you are fun “fun” players. You have no discernible edge against the field and you are dead against me…

In theory.

I think almost none of you are bad players. Thank God for poker capitalists…

I feel like I’m stuck in this shit forever. I may run good again and find some peace. I may also just continue to run like I have for TWO YEARS STRAIGHT.

I know what you have… I know what you think I have after I do whatever I do to make you think it. I’m gonna bet bottom pair small for two streets and check back the ace river until I die when I know you are calling me down with ace-high. You can win forever though. That, I know is possible.

On some nights I’ll use my fake as fuck (come on I’ve been doing this for decades when will you catch on so I can go back to the drawing boards please) tilt image to raise a billion with a monster.

You will call dominated and out of position.

You will make a backdoor flush.

Or a straight.

I will continue to make a million friends and keep close to zero. Honestly, I can’t handle the heaters at this point. I mean I can’t handle all the stuff that comes with them. The cardboard, the tape, the styrofoam, the little packets of salt whatever that is.

Yes, I lost again.

Yes, my Motel 6 room stinks of pesticides.

Yes, I am organic.

And homeless.

And willing to play anyone heads up for whatever I can come up with always.

Good luck guys. Please don’t ever talk to me about poker. It’s better I just stay bitter by myself and y’all just keep playing the best hand like such sickos.



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