Shameless 8

So I was pretty fucked when I watched Shameless, seasons 1-7. I’m still pretty fucked–just a lot less fucked–as I watch Shameless, season 8, almost 1 year later.

You see, I’m fucked in different ways now. I’ll probably always be a weird dude who likes to drink, but I’m actually pretty healthy these days- both mentally and physically.

But I’m still pretty fucked…

Financially- I’m more than fucked. I’m gang-banged and bukkaked like one of those hot Japanese news anchors.

Just kidding, I never watch porn and then have to clear my history and tell Bank of America (huge assholes btw) my maternal grandmother’s name and to trust my laptop before I can check out the masochism that is my financial situation.

Anyways, I’m pretty stretched out financially (if you will)…

But honestly, I’m not too worried about it. I have always dug myself out of financial holes. And I’ve decided to play poker sober until I get out of debt. So basically I’m gonna hate playing poker, have a lot of games break on me when they get short, but also start winning again most of the time…

Once I get re-acclimated.

Yes, I know this goes against my very firm stance that there is a ton of variance in poker. There is- if you play correctly (including being very good for the game- because it’s your fucking livelihood and/or favorite hobby ffs) in the games where the real money can be won. I’m not going to play in those games right away though (can’t afford ’em). And by the time I get back to those games I should have all my poker super powers back at full force. I mean, I’m finally going to be able to win without the best hand again- what with green tea in front of me instead of a moscow mule! And really, that’s all I need…

Well that and control of my emotions when I run bad <– has been a real doozy for me lately.

And my ability to both read and trick souls like no one else I know…

 

The main fucked thing that concerns me these days is my continued pattern of making friends and losing them. I both feel it is their fault and know that I’m the common denominator, so it must be my fault (one way or another).

^^^ is the scary shit. I have no insight into what the fuck happens to where I feel wronged by people and then tell them about it (thinking they will just take it as objective feedback and move on- which they never do). I know it comes from childhood. At least I think I know it does. Not sure there is a condition that explains it though.

Maybe when I get out of the hole financially I’ll get some psychotherapy and at least understand my shit a little better…

So Frank, he’s a different dude now, eh? That’s a bit optimistic but I’ll take it. At what age did this happen?

 

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2 thoughts on “Shameless 8

  1. PSA to anyone I’ve had a falling out with: I’m not ready to talk about it/work it out. Not now, perhaps not ever (IDK). Just take some solace in me knowing it’s on me (one way or another). Peace.

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  2. Respect. Good to see you writing.

    >

    Like

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