Solicited Advice Podcast

I met Dr. David Naimark at Ocean’s 11 Casino in 2009. We were playing $10-$20 No Limit Hold ‘Em; David- one of 8 recreational players at the table, me- the resident professional player. I’m pretty sure David made a big hand and I (unsuccessfully) tried to make him fold it. Doesn’t matter. The roots of our friendship were planted that day…

David and I conversed intermittently over the next 8 years in my 2k thread and in private messages on Two Plus Two Poker Forums. I admired his intelligence, education and humility, and he (like many rec players over the years) was pretty fascinated by my career/journey as traveling high stakes poker pro and blogger, “DGAF“…

David and I met up at the bar next to the poker room at Bellagio one night in 2017. I immediately noticed that he was very pale- almost jaundice, and that he had dark bags under his eyes. He also looked much older than I expected and he was overweight…

We ordered drinks and David asked me about poker. Was I playing before we met up? Was I going to play after we were done? Was he keeping me from a good game? Etc. I basically just told him, “I don’t know, none of that matters, poker is always there… More importantly, what’s up with you?”

It’s amazing how well you can get to know someone just by exchanging written messages. Not only did I feel like I knew David well enough to interrogate him as to why he looked like Atlas on a bender, but I also felt like he knew me well enough that I didn’t need to qualify or apologize for my straightforwardness…

I quickly realized that David and I had the same root problem. We both desperately needed to get divorced. We both had long been adhering to the ridiculous fallacy that we should stay in our respective dissolved marriages for the sake of our children…

Children are NOT stupid. And they do NOT benefit from their parents staying in a dissolved marriage… Children want their parents happy and in their lives. They may also think they want them to be together no matter what, but they don’t. “Staying together for the kids” is much more distressing for kids than is splitting up amicably, respecting each other always (if not continuing to love each other- just in a different way, which is clearly best ime), always staying heavily involved/continuing to do things as a “modern family”, etc…

Over the next couple hours David and I made a table full of empties and called each other out for being life fish, for each basically making every excuse in the book for not resolving the same massive, glaring issue. It went something like this:

David- “I don’t know, I want to wait until both of my kids are in college.”

Me– “I don’t know your kids but I bet they are smart enough to know it’s already over. And I bet they are pretty sick of you and your wife being assholes to each other all the time. Also, man, you kinda look like you are gonna die. I think kids need their parents alive way more than they can’t handle divorce.”

David– “You know, you are right. I need to do it now… What about you though? I could say all the same things to you!”

Me– “I know. I’ve been a huge pussy for a very long time too! Let’s make a prop bet.”

Less than a year later and David and I are good friends. We are both well into the process of divorce (we tied the prop bet). We also work together (I’m his Forensic Assistant on high profile cases), drink together, and philosophize together.

David has his color back. The bags from his eyes- gone. The extra weight- also gone. Basically he’s back to what he looked like when I met him nearly a decade ago (maybe even better- seriously)…

And I’ve become way healthier as well. I work out most days, I eat pretty healthy, and I’ve quit drinking started drinking a little less than I used to…

Now David and I are ready to help you get your life in order! Email us your issues (relationship, mental health, whatever) to SolicitedAdvicePodcast@gmail.com and we will do our best to come up with some good advice for you on our podcast (we will use whatever name you provide in the body of your email, so choose wisely).

David has been a practicing Psychiatrist in San Diego, CA for over 20 years. And me- I’m just really good at thinking logically and objectively about stuff, strategizing, and then giving it to you straight.

DGAF

6-2-2018


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